bucket list

Feeling Lost? Here's How to Discover What You Really Want.

A few months back, I launched a primitive version of the 30-Day Goal Crush Challenge. I'm designing it for Team Better Life as a self-guided course with accountability. I knew how to help people achieve their goals, I had modules planned and fancy automations. So I threw it up on social media and a few brave souls signed up.


It failed miserably. Now, I am saying that with a smile on my face. For entrepreneurs, failure is a good thing. Often the only way to learn is to fail. And, about 2 weeks into the program I had to completely abandon ship.

Here's what I learned.

I had made some basic assumptions when I designed the program that were, just wrong. People who want help achieving their goals

  • sometimes don't know what their goals are.

  • can be confused on the difference between a goal and a project.

  • might completely change their goal after two weeks.

  • think they have a goal but they're really trying to build a habit.

  • try to start the challenge a week late because they forgot about it.

The list goes on. Needless to say, this was all really useful information when I designed the beta version (which will be opening for testing soon!).

Why am I telling you this?

Because a lot of these lessons are based on participants having a clarity problem. I discovered that many people don't know what they want.

They don't have a concrete vision or goal for their future. Often they assign themselves a vague goal but have no real passion behind it.

That lost feeling struck a chord with me. I know what it feels like to be there. This experience has inspired some fabulous future projects for EO, but I wanted to give you some help now.

If you are unsure what you want from life. If you have no idea what your goal is or where you're going, this post is for you. Next time you're feeling uninspired or listless, try one of the following exercises:

1) Write Your Vision For The Future. Visioning is super underrated. It's one of the most effective ways to find your passion.

Your Vision is your picture of what success looks like at a particular point in the future.

To properly craft your vision, you will need to perform the Hot Pen Technique. Take 20-40 minutes and start writing a Vision Statement for your life - but don't stop writing! Write quickly and write from the heart.

Vision Statements should be

  • set in the future, yet stated in the present. It's an affirmation statement.

  • described in enough detail that you'll know when you've arrived there.

  • focused on the end result (the "what" not the "how").

  • unconstrained by what seems possible.

Go for something really great. Get personal. Write a Vision for your future that makes you feel really good.

If you're having trouble with getting started, try outlining your vision statement first. Think of newspaper headlines you can bullet point throughout your vision. Once your outline is intact, develop each point further.

It's not going to be perfect at first, and you might not love everything you come up with in your first draft. That's ok. The point is to give yourself pure writing time. Let your subconscious take over.

When you've finished writing your first draft, take a look at it. Then refine it. Keep editing it until it's complete, compelling, and clear.

When it's ready, hang it up somewhere and start working towards that vision!

For more great resources on visioning, check out these free workshops.

2) Make a List of 100 Dreams. Caroline Ceniza-Levine, a career coach, uses this exercise with her university students. Basically, you create a completely unedited list of anything you might want to do or have more of in your life. It's like a long bucket list.

This is another Hot Pen method - don't stop writing until you hit 100! By committing to 100 items, you'll reveal your most unbiased dreams. Write without judgment. Just let it flow.

Once you have your complete list, take a look at it. Everything that is easy, cheap, or free should be done immediately. Do you want to start keeping fresh flowers in your office? What about hanging that photo you've had leaning against the wall for 5 years? If it takes less than 15 minutes, do it. Make it happen.

Then pick a couple of the remaining items and start laying the foundation for achieving them. The bigger the dream the more satisfying the reward!

3) Go back to your childhood. Most people who do what they love can follow a thread all the way back to when they were kids. The activities you enjoyed doing when you were young are clues to what will make you happy as an adult.

Take up a lost hobby or try a new twist on an old past time. Talk to people who knew you young and ask them what they remember you doing. Consider it your own personal research project.

Finding your purpose and gaining clarity on who you are and what you want can be some of the most important work you do. Take your time and enjoy the process of discovery. You might not find your end game with the first exercise, but that's normal.

Your life's mission unveils itself in layers. The key is to start peeling them back. Sometimes you have to fail a lot to find your direction. That's okay.

Embrace the journey. Everything will come together in time.

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